To Fall in Love Again
by Sandy Kay Slawson
Tina Mayer watched Chad Fayard leave his office and saunter toward the break room. Her gaze travelled the length of the hallway with him until he disappeared through the door at the end. When she turned around, the newest intern, Livvy, stood before her desk with a knowing grin.
"I knew you liked him," said Livvy.
"Shhh, he might hear you. What's not to like? He's intelligent, successful, handsome...an all around good guy. He'd turn any girl's head," said Tina in a defensive whisper.
"I can't argue with that. Still-"
"He's too good for me," said Tina.
"Oh yeah, I heard you go for the bad boy type. The one I saw you with last week looked downright scary."
"That's not what I meant. Anyway, no worries, scary dude is history."
Livvy straightened and scurried off. Tina heard Chad's movement behind her, but she didn't risk a glance. If Livvy noticed her choice of boyfriends after such a short time at Fayard's Accounting Services, Chad must notice too. How many had there been in the year since she'd joined his team? Ten...twenty? Embarrassment heated her neck. She unbuttoned the second button on her white blouse and fanned her face.
Why should she care what the straight-laced, churchgoing...sandy haired, broad shouldered accountant thought of her? The type of man her mother would love. The type of man she hadn't dated for just that reason. But Chad occupied her daydreams and night dreams no matter how many wild fellas roared in and out of her life on their Harleys.
At twenty-five, she knew the life they led did not appeal to her. It never had, despite the fact she'd pretended it did for so long. They were her revenge, plain and simple. Revenge for Joey, her first love...her only love. Her method of revenge did nothing to heal her pain or change the fact that she'd lost him, however. It just left her empty, lonesome and guilty. Whatever she'd hoped to convey to her mother through the merry-go-round of rebels at her family home door ought to have been conveyed by now. But how would she overcome this reputation she'd created for herself? "Tina?...Tina?"
Tina snapped out of her reflections and stared into the cerulean depths she dreamed of.
"Yes...uh...yes, sir?"
Chad chuckled. "I see I caught you in deep thought. Anything interesting I'd want to hear about?"
"Oh...um...no, sir. Sorry about that. What did you ask me?"
"Hmm, you never want to share. The more you refuse to tell, the more curious I become. No time to pry this time. I need you to hold my calls until further notice. I have a virtual meeting at four."
Tina glanced at the clock on the wall, 3:45pm.
"Yes, sir.”
Before Chad closed his office door, he asked, "Maybe you were thinking about your latest scary boyfriend?"
Tina laid her head on her desk. She wanted to disappear through the tile floor. Another great thing about him; his sense of humor. Ugh! What else had he heard? What did it matter? Guys like him didn't go for girls like her anyway. The facade she'd adopted after...well, it didn't attract the good guys. She couldn't undo her mistakes. She knew that, but could she outlive them? Chad peeked out of his office a couple minutes later while he awaited his client's call. Tina still had her head on her desk. A tent of golden curls hid her features. She could be sick, but he didn't think so. He'd embarrassed her. Again. Stupid man. Why did he feel the need to tease her? They weren't in junior high. He'd seen the type of guys she dated. She must think him a real dork in comparison. Whatever their initial appeal might be, though, they had no staying power. He'd never known her to keep one around for more than a week or two. Maybe he could convince her to give a guy like him a chance? No, not a guy like him, just him.
A click behind her drew Tina's head off her desk. She'd lose her job if she couldn't get her act together. Why the bombardment of doubts after all this time? She had to put this behind her for the time being and get to work. In one more minute. Tina grabbed her android and shot off a text.
Tina: Coffee after work?
Sherri: Sure...The Brew Master?
Tina: Yes. Great. See you around 5:15pm.
Sherri: See ya.
To be continued...
Our past choices can sometimes make us feel trapped or hopeless. Like Tina, maybe you want to get off the merry-go-round of bad decisions but you don't know how? I hope you'll come again for Part 2 and see if Tina can find a way. Maybe her journey will help you on yours.
Meet my new little buddy, Pippin, a shih-poo. He is a sweet addition to our family.
I am so glad you came! I hope you have a very Happy Monday and Happy week. May the Lord God bless each of you and your families with faith, hope and love. In Jesus' Name.
In Christ,
Sandy
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